Wellness Wednesday - Continuing a Focus Theme

I seem to have a theme going in my life right now. Focus. Focus on what matters and our health matters. I have chosen to focus on eating 5-6 times daily in small amounts with protein more purposefully included and sugar/white flour type stuff cut way back.  With that I am purposefully making sure to exercise at least 3-4 times weekly and most weeks am getting 4-5 times. This is mostly aerobic exercise. When I feel like this is really implanted in my way of life I know I need to add/exchange some exercise time with core strength training but that will come. I cannot do it all at once and I'm more interested in getting and staying healthy for a life time than marking something off my list. 

Focusing means making choices and not being able to do everything. Our culture encourages that we try and do anything and everything we want to. For the most part it also says, "do it now!"  I've found that when I cram too many things in my life I don't really get to enjoy them - I just get to do them. One simplifying blog post I read was talking about "stuff" in your home and asked if you don't have to have it to survive and you don't love it, why do you have it?  I thought that question could apply to a lot of things in our life.  Why don't you ask yourself that question once a day about something for the next week? I'm challenging you. Share your stories. What are you discovering that you are doing and/or keeping in your life that you really don't need or love? Why? Is it just because everyone else has it? Are you worried what the neighbors might think if they see you wearing the same outfit each week? What is your story?

Simplifying or focusing takes some stress out of your life and stress is the number one killer of our lives. I'm choosing to focus.

Why Daily Stress?

So continuing on with the "lack of time" theme, I've been pondering thoughts from the book we are studying with our small group, "Love Focused" and another book I'm reading, "One Thousand Gifts." Stress often shows itself in our everyday lives through lack of patience, indigestion, short sometimes hurtful words or even the simple comments like "I don't have time to...." Ann Voskamp, author of "One Thousand Gifts" says this, "Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be a sin....Stress stands in direct opposition to what He directly, tenderly commands: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1" She also comments, "And stressed, this pitched word that punctuates every conversation, is it really my attempt to prove how indispensable I am? Or is it more? Maybe disguising my deep fears as stress seems braver somehow."

This challenges me. Do I allow myself to live worrying and "stressed out" in an attempt to control my life? I love Ann's definition of control - "pseudopower from the pit". Fake power. We attempt to control our circumstances and the people around us. Why? That's where the "Love Focused" book comes in. Authors Bob and Judy Hughes remind us that we all have "personal agendas".  "Our personal agenda is the plan we develop apart from God to get the world to solve the problem of our neediness." "We think we can manage all the people in our lives to get them to love us and never hurt us. It is important to understand that there is nothing wrong with desiring others to love and accept us and to experience a minimum amount of hurt in life. It is normal and healthy to want to be loved and to be emotionally happy. The problem occurs when our agenda puts the focus on the world rather than God to solve our neediness." (emphasis mine) Maybe I want to feel needed, wanted or even indispensable.

We literally wear ourselves out daily trying to control the people and circumstances in our life. Why? I believe it is because we are afraid, afraid of being hurt or alone/abandoned. Ann Voskamp says, "Fear keeps life small." I agree. Why? Because when I am afraid, life is all about me. My vision is very limited. Everything is viewed with the perspective of me. How will this effect me? Will I like it? Will I be hurt? Will this help me? Again, stress is directly opposite of what Jesus softly commands, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1  "Jesus replied, This is the work that God asks of you that you believe in the One whom He has sent." John 6:29  We trust God for our salvation from hell when we die. Do we trust Him with our daily life? Can I trust Him to love me and walk me through whatever this day holds so that I don't have to control each moment in it?

What do you think? Am I striking a nerve in your life? Do you understand what these authors are trying to say or do you think they are missing it?  If you want to read more about living a love focused life you can find more information and/or the book here:
http://www.lovefocused.com/lfs.pdf

Wellness Wednesday on Thursday - Not Enough Time?

So "Wellness Wednesday" got abandoned until today, Thursday. Why? Because I just did not have enough time or energy.  Funny isn't it? Most of us don't feel we have enough time. Why is that? We all have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  The April 2012 edition of "Real Simple" magazine did a survey regarding women and time.  The results? About 1/2 of America women say they don't have enough time. 46% said, what time they have is interrupted constantly.  Quoting page 58 of this magazine and article:
never-ending to-do lists aren't bad just for our psyches (and our relationships) but also for our physical health. The stress hormone cortisol has a strong diurnal patter - it peaks shortly after waking and drops throughout the day. The steeper the decline from afternoon to evening, the healthier and less stressed you are, since elevated end-of-day cortisol levels have been linked to burn out, depression, and earlier mortality.... "Our bodies need to recover physiologically after work," says Darby Saxbe, one of the study's coauthors and a postdoctoral fellow in psychology at the University of Southern California, in Los Angeles. " These couples were returning to homes where dinner needed to be cooked, laundry needed folding. Instead of unwinding, these couples took on more work."  


Later in the same magazine it compares the way we do life to a marathon. We think we just have to keep on moving until the end - way down the road. It suggests it might be healthier to live like we are doing weight training. Work out, then rest. A popular way of training these days is called interval training. You work hard and fast and then you slow the pace for a bit. Any way you look at it we were created to have time to work and time to rest. Anything short of that is cheating our self. The Bible admonishes us to have a sabbath, a day of rest. Most statistics show that we are actually more productive if we have a regular time of rest.

So what do you say? Do you realize your need of rest or do you ignore it and just keep going?

Putting the Christmas Crazies to Rest

As I sit here on a beautiful Saturday morning 1 week before Christmas I want to encourage you.  No, I want to CHALLENGE you to put the Christmas Crazies to rest.  STOP for 5 minutes, just 5 minutes.  Take a deep breath and say this prayer with me. Lord, show me how to celebrate your birthday with my family and friends. Amen. Now grab a piece of paper and a pencil if necessary to write down what really has to happen in the next week. Having been married for 30 years and having grown kids I've been through this a few more times than some of you. Looking back this week the times I am remembering are the simple times. So let me make some suggestions for you to think about as you make your holiday choices.
1. This season is about celebrating the birth of Christ so talk about that with your family. I had a book that had simple family friendly ideas for the whole month of December. It even suggested when to do your holiday baking etc so you didn't forget things. Maybe you could use a book to help you. If it's too late for this year shop at your local Christian bookstore after Christmas for next year!

2. I remember turning down the regular lights to better enjoy the Christmas lights and drinking hot chocolate after the kids were in bed to calm down and do a little Christmas time reflection.

3. Making Christmas cookies with the kids involved was a must. Yep, it's a mess, but then I'm a mess in the kitchen no matter what so who cares?  One year I even made them matching aprons.  We made "gingerbread houses" out of graham crackers more than one year.  As they got older we made real gingerbread houses. Frosting cut out cookies is always way more fun when you do it together.

4. Gifts - DO NOT LET THIS STRESS YOU OUT OR CAUSE YOU TO GO INTO DEBT. For our family we kept it pretty simple but fun. We always gave the kids a book to encourage reading and an item of clothing that they actually needed. (It's way more fun to get something wrapped up and unwrap it as a surprise than it is to go buy new pj's) Then we'd get them a couple of fun presents. One of the Christmas' we all remember the most we collected big boxes for a week or two before Christmas. Then we made them do a treasure hunt which led to the basement play room full of big boxes.  It was March before those boxes were all gone. They made a maze, a train, forts and that's not all but it's all I can remember right now. Another trick is wrap EVERYTHING. You know, the batteries separate from the game. The pj top separate from the bottoms - everything! It draws out the unwrapping and can make for a lot of laughter.  Several years we gave each of the kids two homemade gift certificates to stop at a toy store on the way to Grandma's Christmas Eve day and pick out their own new toys.  Sounds dangerous but we learned that they had far simpler taste than we did.  We did tell them that we had $ limits but never were burdened with it. This was a huge help to our budget! AND the shopping was a big part of the gift. Just being allowed to look at all the possibilities in the store and then pick out what they wanted. (Note to grown ups, you can not rush this process. Be patient. That is your biggest gift to them. Let them enjoy it.)

5. Go caroling somewhere and don't forget to watch for all the fun Christmas lights in your town as you go.

Done.  See I don't remember fancy dinners and just the "perfect" outfit for me or for our kids. Parties bigger than the neighbors or gifts for everyone at work or on the block. I remember smiles and giggles and being together with the kids. (and extended family) My husband's family all crowd into his parent's too small for all of us house and play card games and eat snacks after the kids open their presents. We love it! Being together celebrating the birth of Christ is what it is all about. Keep it simple.

For some great ideas for the Christmas school break time why don't you visit my friend, Cindy's blog http://cindybultema.blogspot.com/2011/12/surviving-thriving-on-christmas.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ReflectionsOfHisBeauty+%28She+Sparkles%29

Wellness Wednesday - Where Did It Go?

Whoops, what happened to yesterday? You've had those kind of days. The ones that start when you wake up with about 25 things on your mind that you believe need done today! Yesterday was one of those days.  Right now I am on week three of full-time+ working at the medical office where I am normally 1/2 time.  We are taking on a new system and it is truly "all hands on deck."  For the most part it is going well but it is very intense and there is no clear leader for the team I work most closely with.  It's stressful for me because something I deal with on a regular basis is feeling responsible for "everything" I see.  However in this case, I am NOT the boss so I'm trying really hard to just take care of me and help others when appropriate.  I'm really starting to "feel" the stress of not being home to get the other things in my life taken care of in a timely way.  I'm not alone. The statistics prove that stress is one of the top health issues in America.



Time magazine's June 6, 1983 cover story called stress "The Epidemic of the Eighties" and referred to it as our leading health problem; there can be little doubt that the situation has progressively worsened since then. Numerous surveys confirm that adult Americans perceive they are under much more stress than a decade or two ago.  A 1996 Prevention magazine survey found that almost 75% feel they have "great stress" one day a week with one out of three indicating they feel this way more than twice a week. In the same 1983 survey only 55% said they felt under great stress on a weekly basis. It has been estimated that 75 - 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress related problems. Job Stress is far and away the leading source of stress for adults but stress levels have also escalated in children, teenagers, college students and the elderly for other reasons, including:  increased crime, violence and other threats to personal safety; pernicious peer pressures that lead to substance abuse and other unhealthy life style habits; social isolation and loneliness; the erosion of family and religious values and ties; the loss of other strong sources of social support that are powerful stress busters.(Taken from this web site. Check it outhttp://www.stress.org/americas.htm)

Why do we allow ourselves to get so stressed out?  I did great week one. I simplified life at home as much as possible. Easy meals, all the laundry caught up the weekend before but I only expected the extended schedule to last 2 weeks. Now I know it could go on for a  month or so.  I need to "reset" my brain. I need to ask the Lord to show me what really needs done and how to do it and then trust that He will do so.  As I often say, none of what is currently going on is a surprise to God. He has my life in His hands. I just need to allow Him to lead.

What role does stress play in your life?  How do you handle it?