One Last Date

We've been talking about dating over the past couple of weeks and I can think of no better day than Valentines Day to share one last story from a friend.

A favorite date~there have been many as Mark & I will be married 35 years this Valentine's Day! So we are truly Valentine sweethearts. We were married on my grandparents 43rd anniversary so a very special date for 2 generations there. One of the many dates that stand out to me is the night we got engaged. We had only dated a month, yes a month and we got engaged. It was a very simple date, as Mark picked me up at my parents home. We went to Mastebergen's jewlery in Sheldon and in the parking lot , the ring was placed on my finger. I remember dropping the jewelry cleaner on the ground and it breaking & being stinky. We were very excited, but when my parents found out it wasn't exactly exciting for them. Many suggestions & advice were shared that night, but we remained engaged. God had it in His plans. Mark was a very solid follower of Christ and at the time I was just a religious church attender. After going to church with Mark I realized I had never surrendered my life to Christ. So that date was just one of the very important steps in my life that led me to where we are today. Thankfully I found the Lover of my soul, and a man who loves me with all his heart as well.

While you may think of Valentines Day as a "Hallmark get your money day" - it doesn't have to be. Use this day to appreciate your spouse or significant other. While your at it what about appreciating your parents or another older couple in your life who have set a good example for you.  And remember all the candy goes on sale tomorrow! This doesn't have to be just a one day thing! Have FUN!

Dating - This One is for the Guys

Okay guys, you are not off the hook on this one. Dating can be fun for you too!  Sometimes it takes a bit of homework. I mean sure your girl loves you and she's willing (and maybe even likes) that ball game you take her to but not for every date!

An old friend of mine just celebrated her 32 wedding anniversary. They live in a smaller town in Iowa so her husband took her to a near by city for an afternoon of shopping and dinner. He says he's learned to enjoy these shopping dates. He learns about his wife!

Another gentleman friend said this:

Our favorite dates are the simple ones.  Not expensive or difficult, but quiet and alone.  For years I spent time trying to do the big stuff often with a lot of other people involved.  While there is a place for that, I have finally learned that what is most valued is time to just be quiet and together.  Whether it is simply watching a movie together quietly in our living room or at the theater, or spending an evening together on the road over dinner and a walk, it isn’t the production that matters but the time.

The key for my bride is time.  She desires it at a slow pace and low key atmosphere.  That is not my normal style but I’m learning.

I do know from our early years that making the arrangements for childcare – and good quality arrangements – was one of the most cherished things I did.  It didn’t really matter what we did as long as the kids were cared for and I took care of the arrangements and babysitters.  That was a gift that went for miles.

The key is to do as Nike says, "just do it!"  Let's hear from more of you guys. What are your favorite dates?

Wellness Wednesday - A Little Laughter Please

Humor is a wonderful way to prevent a hardening of the attitudes! - Joel Goodman

Having a good laugh with a friend is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. It's a proven fact.  Doctors and psychologist agree it's good for your mind, body and soul.  We shouldn't be surprised Proverbs 17:22 says "Laughter doeth good like a medicine" in the King James Version.  The NIV says it like this "A cheerful heart is good medicine; but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

So call a friend today. Share a smile. Play a board game. Sing out loud. Read a comic strip or watch a cartoon! What's stopping you? It's good for you!

Oh and in keeping with my current dating theme here's a link suggesting some "healthy" dates. These dates are ones you can have with any friend or your spouse/significant other. Enjoy! 

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/slideshow.asp?show=59

More Dates...

I don't want you to have any excuses for not taking some time out for you and your spouse.  I have more stories to share. Remember the point is not to feel pressure to copy anyone but to get ideas.

Personally I remember walking through a furniture store and showing each other what we liked for "someday" when we had a "real" house. Our son and daughter-in-law sometimes go to a local bookstore and sit and read magazines or browse books with a cup of hot chocolate.

Here's another story from a friend:
We were out visiting my husband's family in Wyoming and it was a normal day like any other or so I thought until Nathan surprised me after breakfast in front of his whole family, grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins that I needed to get my shoes on because we were going to be going somewhere, he found a sitter and everything. "Which wasn't hard because of all the family" but I loved it anyway. We got in the car and he drove to some places nearby, he took me on the 1880 train and we went and looked at a nearby cave, we also experienced the cosmos and few other area attractions. I just loved the spontaneity of the whole day and one surprise after another. It truly was a wonderful day.

Have you ever gone sledding or taken a walk at night? It's funny how the same old landscape can look different at night. Or is there a place you like to go that you should go at least once a season to see how it looks different? Take pictures or draw your rendition of what it looks like. Go out ahead of time and make a scavenger hunt for your spouse. Take a picnic. Take a good book and read a chapter out loud together. (Mark your place and go somewhere different to read the next chapter)

See it doesn't "have to be" elaborate.  If you will notice the common denominator in the stories is that one of the people planned. Yes, thought ahead of time what they could do. That makes the other person feel cared for and that is a good thing!

Marriage Monday - Date Time!

It's Marriage Monday 8 days before Valentines Day. Some of you are still being Valentines Day "Scrooge" and others have plans in the works.  As I said before my mother used to tell me "if you don't clean your house before company comes, when will you clean it?"  If you don't plan something for your spouse at Valentine's Day, when will you?  Statistics prove that couples who have fun together stay together longer and enjoy life more. That seems so reasonable, so obvious when you see it in print. However the truth is the longer most couples are together the less true recreational time they take together. Sure you go to family events or your workplace holiday party but what about fun for just the sake of fun?

So what if you and your spouse are opposites when it comes to recreation? Maybe he loves sports and you love music, take turns! Plan times for both. Maybe you just don't understand Hockey. That's okay, learn the name of his favorite team. Over dinner before the game ask him to tell you who his favorite player is and what his number is. Then watch for the favorite player. Watch the people around you. Learn something new!  Somewhere down the road do something you really love to do and you tell your spouse what you love most about it.

It doesn't always have to be a going out kind of date. Start an ongoing cribbage challenge for the winter. We play once a week or so and are keeping track of wins and losses. (I won this week by the way. That doesn't happen often so it's worth noting.)  We're going to be traveling on Valentine's Day evening so I'm thinking about making some homemade chocolate dipped strawberries just for fun. (Our official Valentines Day date is tomorrow night)  Maybe you both like to cook, plan a night to try a new recipe together!

However when you do want to go out it can be as simple or elaborate as this: (I asked a few of my friends to share a date they enjoyed)

From a gal:
Darrin and I have been married for 16 years and we have 3 kids...just now they are old enough to not need a baby sitter - but we love to take drives. We'll have coffee and drive around the local lake. Sometimes we take a small picnic and just go out and sit on a blanket next to the lake, eat, talk and enjoy being together. Pretty simple and in expensive, but it's been a great way for us to have a little time to connect without spending a lot! Love date nights And...just lately we've found 2 other couples who like to go out to eat - and we have found some unique places to all go together and then back to one of the homes for dessert. Love that, too.
 From a guy:
I made a reservation at a nice restaurant that we both liked and we agreed to meet there after work. We were both dressed up as that was the attire of the establishment. Cindy arrived first and was seated at the bar enjoying a glass of wine when I arrived. I approached her and introduced myself using a made-up name and she took the bait and played along. All evening we spoke to one another as if we had never met before that night, asking scores of questions and hearing the answers afresh, as if for the first time. We had a wonderful time getting acquainted. After a few hours of dialog and great food, we left the restaurant and walked through the attached hotel looking at its beautiful amenities. As we walked down one hall, I reached into my pocket, pulled out a room key and we slipped into a room. I had been there earlier in the day to check-in, had packed an overnight back for both of us and had candles burning, champagne chilling and music playing. I'll let the public story end there.
From both:
After 19 years of marriage & 4 children, we find it difficult to get time alone. For this reason, we enjoy slipping away for lunch dates which seem to be easier on our family schedule than an evening away from home. It allows us to connect on what is going on at work and home without the distractions of every day life. We also believe in the value of couple's retreats, whether it be a programmed marriage retreat or a mini vacation. We are currently on a little escape to Walt Disney World and our kids are a bit jealous. We explained to them the importance of parents having time away for themselves, knowing that truly the best gift we can give our kids is the love and security that comes from a healthy marriage.

Need more ideas? Go to http://www.havegreatdates.net/

Share your plans! Give other people some ideas!

Simple or Complicated?

So today finds me nearing the end of our "staycation".  This is not the vacation we originally planned. That one involved beach, sun, ocean and warm temperatures in a far away place. However, this one is good. That's what I'm learning. (yes, you can learn on vacation.)

We just plain make things too complicated or hard.  It doesn't take spending lots of money or going far away to take a break, to have fun and get some rest. First we marked this week off on our calendar. That means no appointments. (We broke this rule once) Then we shut off the alarm clock. We made a list of things we'd like to do and we've been doing them. However, we are also spontaneously choosing to do things that come up as each day presents itself. After all how many times in January and early February in Iowa can you do this:

Riding our Trikes

We played Cribbage by the fire on our patio in January! (I won!)

 Life is not easy but it does NOT have to be complicated. Attitude plays a huge part of it. We decided we are going to enjoy our time even though we are not on a beach. We are. It's that simple.  What are you complicating today? Will choose to simplify?

P.S. It's supposed to rain and possibly change to snow later today. That's okay. We have some indoor fun things to do that we didn't do earlier in the week when we were outside.  See how this works out!

Wellness Wednesday - Lighten Up

Sometimes I think the best thing I can do for myself is to "lighten up."  I tend to be overly "responsible" and often it is to my own demise.  While there is more than enough hard stuff and heartache in this world there is also alot of wonderful things. We just need to slow down enough to be aware of them. That means we need to make some choices.  So here are a few choices that I have made or am making now to enJOY life a bit more.

 - Phone a long distance friend weekly.  This is something I do to stay connected with some of the great people in our life. We've moved a couple of times but I don't want to lose connection with some really great people.
 - Look around and appreciate the beauty in my own world meaning my immediate neighborhood. Right now in Iowa it's brown and rather drab for color on the ground but the sky has been a beautiful bright blue with fluffy clouds.   There are more ducks and geese than I remember in the past. One of our neighbors has put up a nice yard fence and we have a new puppy across the street!
 - Set your alarm to go off with music whether it's your Ipod or a radio station. Music can really lift your spirits. Sing through out the day!  My family is known (amongst ourselves) for "breaking into spontaneous songs!" (It's a whole different story. Ask me some time. Thanks Treasure Village!)
 - Take time to do something you enjoy for a bit each day. That might mean just being quiet and drinking a cup of tea, or exercising, or watching a favorite TV show or reading....whatever!
 - Be present in the moment at hand. You cannot change your past. You do not know what tomorrow will bring but you can fully engage in now!

A few simple decisions can really change the course of your day which can change the course of your life. I am so grateful for my life. I don't want to miss one thing God has for me...yes, even the hard stuff. I can bring glory to God by trusting Him through the hard stuff. Then I don't have to worry, or try to "fix it". I can trust Him which "lightens my load". Yes, it's time to "lighten up!"

How will you "lighten up" a bit today?