Marriage Monday - Good Relationships are Possible

It's Marriage Monday and I'm unexpectedly off to work at my job as a nurse today. I really had a bad attitude about having to fill in, but it is necessary. Why do I tell you that? Because my husband has been great.  He allowed me to be disappointed that my plans had to change without guilt. Then he helped me move on. As he would say, "it is what it is."

That's life. Stuff happens and you deal with it. It is much easier as a team. You have a broader perspective. You have support. You have encouragement to try something new or hang in there when your tired or even just somebody to relax with when you're really tired. We did that yesterday afternoon. We had our weekend of ministry and then drove home intending to take a nap and get a little work done since today was kidnapped by my nursing job. Instead we ended up watching some TV together, laughing, reading the newspaper, making some chilli and yes, we did do a little work but it was just a little. We relaxed together.

To all of you out there with tough relationships I want to encourage you. It is possible to have a good relationship. To be able to be yourself with your spouse and not worry about what he is thinking all the time. God is able. Our relationship is proof. If you want to know more of our story, ask me. We tell it where-ever appropriate. We love to encourage others.

Have a great day. Enjoy your spouse today!

Simple or Complicated?

So today finds me nearing the end of our "staycation".  This is not the vacation we originally planned. That one involved beach, sun, ocean and warm temperatures in a far away place. However, this one is good. That's what I'm learning. (yes, you can learn on vacation.)

We just plain make things too complicated or hard.  It doesn't take spending lots of money or going far away to take a break, to have fun and get some rest. First we marked this week off on our calendar. That means no appointments. (We broke this rule once) Then we shut off the alarm clock. We made a list of things we'd like to do and we've been doing them. However, we are also spontaneously choosing to do things that come up as each day presents itself. After all how many times in January and early February in Iowa can you do this:

Riding our Trikes

We played Cribbage by the fire on our patio in January! (I won!)

 Life is not easy but it does NOT have to be complicated. Attitude plays a huge part of it. We decided we are going to enjoy our time even though we are not on a beach. We are. It's that simple.  What are you complicating today? Will choose to simplify?

P.S. It's supposed to rain and possibly change to snow later today. That's okay. We have some indoor fun things to do that we didn't do earlier in the week when we were outside.  See how this works out!

As I look back over my blog posting list I find I've been a bit delinquent since the Holidays. I apologize.  Many great things going on in our house.  We enjoyed the holidays over a very spread out schedule.  We are spending more time with our parents due to the good old "aging process" they both could use a bit of help and encouragement. Although I must say at the moment my parents are more needy. I was asked to take a little more responsibility at work and that requires a bit more than my half-time so I've been going to work early or staying a bit late.  I am taking a class via the internet that will last through the first week in February and Mark has been busy with end of the year accounting for his business and our personal bookwork. To top all of that off we have a couple of events in the next two months and it's time to prayerfully prepare for those as well.

With that in mind I realized that Valentines Day will be over a month from now. As married couples it seems that this little holiday sneaks up on us much more so than when we were dating. Why so? Could it be that you are busy with the kids? Could it be that money is tight? Could it be that you just couldn't imagine how to fit one more thing in the month of February or do you just not have any good ideas?  Well I want to encourage you!  There are alot of great, simple ideas "out there".  It can be but does not have to be fancy but especially if you have kids at home it will require a little planning. So start now!

Here's a few ideas:
Write a love letter! No really, do it. Tell your spouse what you love about them or your first memory of them or something you noticed last week but didn't get to say because it was time for the basketball game.  Need more help? Go to  http://www.onemillionloveletters.com/index.php

Research proves that dating your spouse at least once a month significantly improves your relationship.  Give your spouse the gift of time.  Make a gift certificate for one date per month for the next year. Plan dinner for Valentines day. Tell your spouse that mean so much to you that you are committed to at least one date per month for the next year.  I suggest that you take your calendars and mark date night once a month for at least the next 4 months if not the whole year. Do not let ANYTHING budge in on that time unless it's a matter of life and death.  Your marriage is important!

Go to a marriage retreat.  In Iowa Okoboji Lutheran Bible Camp has one every year around Valentines Day.  You can find out about it at http://www.okoboji.org
Family Life Today sponsors "A Weekend to Remember" http://www.weekendtoremember.com
 In the Des Moines Area Point of Grace Church will be hosting a Friday night/Saturday time the weekend before Valentines Day.  You can find out more about that at http://www.pointofgrace.com
Mark and I will be helping to lead that one on Saturday. Come and join us!   Okay, so now I'm stuck in Italics mode but I've got to go for today.  If you have other Valentine ideas please share them by leaving a comment. Sometimes we just need one idea to get our own ideas flowing!
 
 

Wellness Wednesday - A Community of Sharing

Happy New Year! 2012 is here and again words I'm hearing a lot of is "simple", "unclutter", "re-organize", along with the proverbial "exercise" and "eat right". These words are in my vocabulary too. They're not new to me but it's a new year, a great time to restart or re-energize something that may be lagging in your life.

One of the reasons I wanted to blog about wellness is that it is such a broad topic and nearly everyone is interested in it in some way. However, there is SO MUCH information out there it is hard to wade through the seemingly endless information and figure out what is actually true, #1 and #2 what actually applies to you.  I've had that problem for years. As a nurse I'm pretty aware of major health trends. However, they change on a regular basis. How do I know what to really pay attention too? Also many things seem just too radical for me. I'm a pretty basic type person. I like to keep life simple. I'm definetly NOT a great chef in the kitchen.  I like to try new recipies but not the complicated ones. All that said, Wellness Wednesdays are for us "regular people" who want to be healthy but need help sifting through all of the information out there.  Won't you join us on our quest?  Share what you have learned, whether it is something that works or doesn't work.  I do not sell any particular products but I am happy to share my personal opinion on things I've tried and I'm hoping you will do the same so I don't have to try everything! (I'm smiling)  Share in the comments here or on my Facebook page one simple thing that is helping you become or stay healthy, a habit, a program, a product. Don't forget real health encompasses all of you, spirit, mind and body.

This week I'd like to share with you that my friend, Shari has opened her doors (& her heart) to help people to better health physically, mentally and spiritually. Her own journey towards health has led her to become educated in nutrition and essential oils. This month she is offering the following special for those who can come to the Des Moines area.

Have you ever wondered what wellness products your body really needs? If so, I am offering a FREE digital body scan (a $20 value) for the month of January. The scan itself only takes about 15 minutes. It's fun and painless so feel free to bring a friend! Call me at 515-321-4756 or email me at Shari@holistic-journeys.com to schedule an appointment. Schedule your appointment soon as times are limited! For information on how the scan works go to: https://www.zytocompass.com/LearnMore.aspx.

It's a Heart Thing - Unthinkable Circumstances

So I've been pondering, mulling over, camping out on, and yes, even thinking about things. This last chapter in the study of "unthinkable circumstances" is my favorite. It puts words on my heart's thoughts.

I'm convinced most of us live life just trying to "keep up." Keep up with our job and home responsibilities, the kids' activities, church responsibilities and a hobby or two. Why? Because that is what life is in America, right? That's the "American dream" - work and a home, family, friends, hobbies and money to retire on. But what if that's not "really  living?"  My husband and I are singing the song, "Blessings" by Laura Story in Church tomorrow.  I've been mulling over the lyrics for weeks. If you don't know it you can listen to it here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ  The last chorus goes like this:

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments,
or the aching of this life
is a revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life,
the rain, the storms, the hardest nights
 are Your mercies in disguise?
 

 

I "get" that thought.  I've always felt a little "different" than most of those around me. That's hard when you grow up in a very small community where there isn't much variety in people. But I know now it's not because I was "different" than them. I just learned earlier than most of them that this is not my home, not really.  My heart is sold out on Jesus. And now that I've experience a tiny, tiny bit of his suffering through the death of our son-in-law, grief of our daughter, depression and adultery of my husband, moving away from our  ministry and friends, my priorities are solidified. It doesn't really matter what it takes to get us there but we need to experience God's love, forgiveness, grace and faithfulness. Once we do there is the same. Nothing is better than spending time in His presence and then sharing Him with others. The best way to share with others is to be real. To be His hands, feet and maybe most importantly His ears. People need to be heard. That is showing them love. They don't care if you have "the answer". They just need to know that someone heard them. Someone heard their heart, not just listened a moment, said "there, there" quoted a verse and said "I'll pray for you." They need a hug, possibly tears or help packing their boxes or finding a ride to the hospital or grocery store. When they are ready to really hear the reason behind your actions, you'll know it. They usually ask.

These days I don't participate in as many activities as I used to, Church stuff or otherwise. I am getting to know my co-workers better. I'm listening more and talking less. (I know that's hard for some of you to believe but it's true!) I spend daily time with my Lord and Savior. I know I will never be completely content until I meet Jesus face to face. In the meantime this is an amazing life He has given me to live even though it's not exactly the way I pictured it. It's a heart thing.

 

Ask or Just Do It?

A couple of days ago I finally got some "catch up" time with one of my best friends. It had been awhile since we had gotten to talk, just the two of us. It was great. We have known each other for 5 years now and we established a long time ago that we could talk about anything without having to defend ourselves. I think everyone needs a friend they can be honest with, feel safe and not analyzed but expect honest feedback coming from a base of God's love.  I'm fortunate enough to have a couple of these gals in my life. ANYWAY, my friend shared that she has felt led to stop praying God "help me" become who you created me to be. She is praying "make me."  At the time I'm sure I properly oohed and awed at what a great spiritual sign of growth and maturity that could be and then the conversation moved on. However that phrase has shadowed me ever since. What difference does a couple of words mean? "Make me" vs. "help me" hmmm.


Yesterday morning I was reading Psalm 51 for a Bible Study I'm doing. It's believed to be written by David after he was convicted of adultery and is a pretty well know portion of scripture. What struck me was he doesn't ask God to "help him".  He tells God to have mercy on him according to your unfailing love. He states "Wash away all my iniquity."  He knows God is the only one who can do that, who can forgive his sins.  Okay, most of us "get" that part. God is our salvation. The only one who can forgive and free us of our sins. So we ask for forgiveness and God's mercy when we are convicted of our sins.



So that's fantastic but then he goes on. "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."  He doesn't ask God to help him be better or make better choices next time. He says, just do it God. Make a pure heart in me and renew that steadfast spirit that believed I could slay a giant with You leading the way. Wow, that says alot to me.  One thing is this whole Psalm is a testimony to the fact that we all sin, even those of us who really love the Lord. David is called a man after God's own heart. He did kill Goliath. He did calm Saul's crazy spirit with his music. He did become the king God anointed him to be. He also committed adultery and murder. BUT, when convicted he made no excuses. He didn't ask for a 10-step program or a book to read to learn more about living a Godly life. He basically said, I'm here God. I'm willing. I'm all yours. Do YOUR thing. Make me the way you intended for me.  Now that's challenging.

I pray for forgiveness. I pray for God's will to be done. Honestly though I can't say I often just say, "do it Lord. Do whatever it takes to make me the person you created me to be, in Your time and Your way." I think that is called complete surrender. I think I usually surrender parts of me.  What about you? Can you think of a time when you really surrendered yourself or a situation over to God giving Him the freedom to do whatever He deemed necessary? What happened? Do you want to? Am I crazy? Am I over analyzing? What are you thinking?

Rebuild the Walls

So I'm reading Nehemiah and it strikes me that this story reminds me alot of current events. If I have my facts straight God's temple has been rebuilt in Jerusalem - these days we Christians are his temple. However chapter 1 says those people are in "great trouble and disgrace". The walls meant to surround and protect the city of Jerusalem as was the custom of the day are broken down and the gates have been burned. I think we have allowed many of our "walls of protection" to be broken down. As I see it, we (Bible believing Christians) have steadily allowed other influences change the way we live. These influences, again in my opinion, fall into primarily two categories, entertainment and tolerance. My husband and I went to a movie last week. I was struck by the fact that all but one of the advertisements for upcoming movies were revolving around sex outside of marriage, with the exception of one. That one, although I can't remember the story line I remember that it was an explosive, violent type. That's our entertainment? Really?

When I think of tolerance, I think of "social issues." Now I have to say that I'm not a learned person when it comes to politics, social justice and/or war. However, it doesn't take a scholar to know that our nation is having trouble. I could point out specific things that I believe we've gradually allowed to permeate our lives that have effectively "burned the gates" to our souls but I'm sure by now you've already thought of some things. With those gates open, our souls, our hearts - the center of who we are is open to infiltration. But God is a God of restoration. The book of Nehemiah reminds us of that. Nehemiah himself when made aware of the situation started with prayer and prayer continued throughout the project. The enemies made fun of them and planned attacks but they continued to work as a unit and to pray. Nehemiah told his people to trust in God and get to work and they did.

Today we have an opportunity to join together with people all over the nation and pray. The "enemies" have tried to stop this day of prayer claiming it unconstitutional. It's not. It's time to be reminded that we need to do what we need to do. Don't worry about the other guy. Do what you know to be right, what the Lord is asking you to do, whatever that is. Today I believe it is safe to say a great place to start would be to pray. Pray for our nation, your state, your city, and yourself. Pray for God to restore, protect and teach us to live as the Body of Christ so we can draw men to Him and not drive them away. Sadly, I've heard people say they are ashamed to call themselves Christians publicly because of all the nasty things that other "Christians" say and do. It's true there is a lot of judgemental words and actions said and done by people who call themselves Christians but let's not let that stop us from doing what is right. "The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!" Nehemiah 4:20 I'm sounding the trumpet! If you hear it pray. Pray and don't be ashamed. Join with Christians around the nation publicly or privately. Don't be antagonistic. Don't put down others for not praying or being opposed. Just pray. God is a God of restoration.