It's Marriage Monday 8 days before Valentines Day. Some of you are still being Valentines Day "Scrooge" and others have plans in the works. As I said before my mother used to tell me "if you don't clean your house before company comes, when will you clean it?" If you don't plan something for your spouse at Valentine's Day, when will you? Statistics prove that couples who have fun together stay together longer and enjoy life more. That seems so reasonable, so obvious when you see it in print. However the truth is the longer most couples are together the less true recreational time they take together. Sure you go to family events or your workplace holiday party but what about fun for just the sake of fun?
So what if you and your spouse are opposites when it comes to recreation? Maybe he loves sports and you love music, take turns! Plan times for both. Maybe you just don't understand Hockey. That's okay, learn the name of his favorite team. Over dinner before the game ask him to tell you who his favorite player is and what his number is. Then watch for the favorite player. Watch the people around you. Learn something new! Somewhere down the road do something you really love to do and you tell your spouse what you love most about it.
It doesn't always have to be a going out kind of date. Start an ongoing cribbage challenge for the winter. We play once a week or so and are keeping track of wins and losses. (I won this week by the way. That doesn't happen often so it's worth noting.) We're going to be traveling on Valentine's Day evening so I'm thinking about making some homemade chocolate dipped strawberries just for fun. (Our official Valentines Day date is tomorrow night) Maybe you both like to cook, plan a night to try a new recipe together!
However when you do want to go out it can be as simple or elaborate as this: (I asked a few of my friends to share a date they enjoyed)
From a gal:
Darrin and I have been married for 16 years and we have 3 kids...just now they are old enough to not need a baby sitter - but we love to take drives. We'll have coffee and drive around the local lake. Sometimes we take a small picnic and just go out and sit on a blanket next to the lake, eat, talk and enjoy being together. Pretty simple and in expensive, but it's been a great way for us to have a little time to connect without spending a lot! Love date nights
And...just lately we've found 2 other couples who like to go out to
eat - and we have found some unique places to all go together and then
back to one of the homes for dessert. Love that, too.
From a guy:
I made a reservation at a nice restaurant that we both liked and we agreed to meet there after work. We were both dressed up as that was the attire of the establishment. Cindy arrived first and was seated at the bar enjoying a glass of wine when I arrived. I approached her and introduced myself using a made-up name and she took the bait and played along. All evening we spoke to one another as if we had never met before that night, asking scores of questions and hearing the answers afresh, as if for the first time. We had a wonderful time getting acquainted. After a few hours of dialog and great food, we left the restaurant and walked through the attached hotel looking at its beautiful amenities. As we walked down one hall, I reached into my pocket, pulled out a room key and we slipped into a room. I had been there earlier in the day to check-in, had packed an overnight back for both of us and had candles burning, champagne chilling and music playing. I'll let the public story end there.
From both:
After 19 years of marriage & 4 children, we find it difficult to get time alone. For this reason, we enjoy slipping away for lunch dates which seem to be easier on our family schedule than an evening away from home. It allows us to connect on what is going on at work and home without the distractions of every day life. We also believe in the value of couple's retreats, whether it be a programmed marriage retreat or a mini vacation. We are currently on a little escape to Walt Disney World and our kids are a bit jealous. We explained to them the importance of parents having time away for themselves, knowing that truly the best gift we can give our kids is the love and security that comes from a healthy marriage.
Need more ideas? Go to http://www.havegreatdates.net/
Share your plans! Give other people some ideas!
So what if you and your spouse are opposites when it comes to recreation? Maybe he loves sports and you love music, take turns! Plan times for both. Maybe you just don't understand Hockey. That's okay, learn the name of his favorite team. Over dinner before the game ask him to tell you who his favorite player is and what his number is. Then watch for the favorite player. Watch the people around you. Learn something new! Somewhere down the road do something you really love to do and you tell your spouse what you love most about it.
It doesn't always have to be a going out kind of date. Start an ongoing cribbage challenge for the winter. We play once a week or so and are keeping track of wins and losses. (I won this week by the way. That doesn't happen often so it's worth noting.) We're going to be traveling on Valentine's Day evening so I'm thinking about making some homemade chocolate dipped strawberries just for fun. (Our official Valentines Day date is tomorrow night) Maybe you both like to cook, plan a night to try a new recipe together!
However when you do want to go out it can be as simple or elaborate as this: (I asked a few of my friends to share a date they enjoyed)
From a gal:
Darrin and I have been married for 16 years and we have 3 kids...just now they are old enough to not need a baby sitter - but we love to take drives. We'll have coffee and drive around the local lake. Sometimes we take a small picnic and just go out and sit on a blanket next to the lake, eat, talk and enjoy being together. Pretty simple and in expensive, but it's been a great way for us to have a little time to connect without spending a lot! Love date nights
And...just lately we've found 2 other couples who like to go out to
eat - and we have found some unique places to all go together and then
back to one of the homes for dessert. Love that, too. From a guy:
I made a reservation at a nice restaurant that we both liked and we agreed to meet there after work. We were both dressed up as that was the attire of the establishment. Cindy arrived first and was seated at the bar enjoying a glass of wine when I arrived. I approached her and introduced myself using a made-up name and she took the bait and played along. All evening we spoke to one another as if we had never met before that night, asking scores of questions and hearing the answers afresh, as if for the first time. We had a wonderful time getting acquainted. After a few hours of dialog and great food, we left the restaurant and walked through the attached hotel looking at its beautiful amenities. As we walked down one hall, I reached into my pocket, pulled out a room key and we slipped into a room. I had been there earlier in the day to check-in, had packed an overnight back for both of us and had candles burning, champagne chilling and music playing. I'll let the public story end there.
From both:
After 19 years of marriage & 4 children, we find it difficult to get time alone. For this reason, we enjoy slipping away for lunch dates which seem to be easier on our family schedule than an evening away from home. It allows us to connect on what is going on at work and home without the distractions of every day life. We also believe in the value of couple's retreats, whether it be a programmed marriage retreat or a mini vacation. We are currently on a little escape to Walt Disney World and our kids are a bit jealous. We explained to them the importance of parents having time away for themselves, knowing that truly the best gift we can give our kids is the love and security that comes from a healthy marriage.
Need more ideas? Go to http://www.havegreatdates.net/
Share your plans! Give other people some ideas!
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