Why Daily Stress?

So continuing on with the "lack of time" theme, I've been pondering thoughts from the book we are studying with our small group, "Love Focused" and another book I'm reading, "One Thousand Gifts." Stress often shows itself in our everyday lives through lack of patience, indigestion, short sometimes hurtful words or even the simple comments like "I don't have time to...." Ann Voskamp, author of "One Thousand Gifts" says this, "Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be a sin....Stress stands in direct opposition to what He directly, tenderly commands: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1" She also comments, "And stressed, this pitched word that punctuates every conversation, is it really my attempt to prove how indispensable I am? Or is it more? Maybe disguising my deep fears as stress seems braver somehow."

This challenges me. Do I allow myself to live worrying and "stressed out" in an attempt to control my life? I love Ann's definition of control - "pseudopower from the pit". Fake power. We attempt to control our circumstances and the people around us. Why? That's where the "Love Focused" book comes in. Authors Bob and Judy Hughes remind us that we all have "personal agendas".  "Our personal agenda is the plan we develop apart from God to get the world to solve the problem of our neediness." "We think we can manage all the people in our lives to get them to love us and never hurt us. It is important to understand that there is nothing wrong with desiring others to love and accept us and to experience a minimum amount of hurt in life. It is normal and healthy to want to be loved and to be emotionally happy. The problem occurs when our agenda puts the focus on the world rather than God to solve our neediness." (emphasis mine) Maybe I want to feel needed, wanted or even indispensable.

We literally wear ourselves out daily trying to control the people and circumstances in our life. Why? I believe it is because we are afraid, afraid of being hurt or alone/abandoned. Ann Voskamp says, "Fear keeps life small." I agree. Why? Because when I am afraid, life is all about me. My vision is very limited. Everything is viewed with the perspective of me. How will this effect me? Will I like it? Will I be hurt? Will this help me? Again, stress is directly opposite of what Jesus softly commands, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1  "Jesus replied, This is the work that God asks of you that you believe in the One whom He has sent." John 6:29  We trust God for our salvation from hell when we die. Do we trust Him with our daily life? Can I trust Him to love me and walk me through whatever this day holds so that I don't have to control each moment in it?

What do you think? Am I striking a nerve in your life? Do you understand what these authors are trying to say or do you think they are missing it?  If you want to read more about living a love focused life you can find more information and/or the book here:
http://www.lovefocused.com/lfs.pdf

Can you "see"?

I've been thinking about the story in II Kings 6: 8-23. In it the prophet Elisha warns the King of Israel multiple times when enemies are lurking about ready to attack. Eventually someone tells the King of Aram (a bad guy) that it's Elisha that is causing him all this difficulty.  He orders his people to find out where Elisha is so he can "send someone and capture him."  It' s pretty clear plan. Send a spy, report the intel and implement a capture. We've seen it in movies and TV shows a hundred times.  So will Gibbs (NCIS) and his gang save the day?  The story moves on. The report comes back. "He's in Dotham." It says the King dispatched horses and chariots, "an impressive fighting force." (The Message) They came in at night and surrounded the city. Early that morning the "man of God" who assisted Elisha got up and saw their plight. They were completely surrounded. For two non-soldier types this could be really bad. "O Master, what shall we do?" the man cried.  I love Elisha's reply.  He didn't hesitate. He knew who was really in charge, who always had and who would continue taking care of them. He says, "Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them."  Then Elisha does something amazing to me. He prays "Lord open his eyes so he may see."  He doesn't pray "hell fire and brimstone" as the saying goes. He doesn't rally the local guards and/or army. He doesn't send a messenger to the King of Israel.  He prays for his partner to see what he already knows is there.  Then the Lord opens the man's eyes and he sees that "hills are full of horses and chariots around Elisha."  As the enemy came closer Elisha prays again, this time for blindness of the enemy. They become blind and he (Elisha) leads them into the city to be captured.

Elisha knew that God was protecting him. I mean he really knew it. When a threatening time came he did not panic or melt into a puddle of tears to become the sacrificial lamb. He stood on what he knew to be true. God would handle it. He even believed God could do it in an unconventional way.

How many times (maybe daily) have I allowed my thoughts to scare me right into a corner?  "O Lord, I'm surrounded. There is no way out." and then I give up in defeat or allow myself to "think" myself right into some sort of defensive action. After all I need to stand up for myself, right? I'm in charge of me. I shouldn't let others control me...you know the lingo. However as children of God we don't have to defend ourselves. That's a reaction that Satan likes to take and use against us because it seems so "right" in many cases. Our God is our best defense. He has our back - really. We are surrounded by God's "horses and chariots". Today someone I care about deeply believes she is in a corner with only one way out, to defend herself. In that mentality her choices seem limited. She can't imagine any other way.  I'm praying to our Lord that He might "open her eyes to see." I believe that when she "sees" the truth that God "has her back" she will allow God to do what He does, take care of us.  Are you feeling cornered today? Remember God has you surrounded. He loves you. Ask Him to show you His defense for you. I believe He will do it.

Please read this post and the story in it's entirety.  I'm not telling anyone to ly down like a rug and get walked on. I'm saying ask God to show you His defense. Then do what He asks you to do, if He asks you to do something.  Elisha led the enemy into the city and eventually they were sent on their way. He didn't just throw up his arms and surrender. What I'm saying is God knows your situation and has a plan. Allow God to work His plan in your life for you.

Unthinkable Circumstances

Elisa Morgan says, "There are moments when God makes utter and complete sense to us, and then suddenly life changes and he seems a foreign remnant of a childhood force fed faith...."(Lord), give us eyes to see your coming and going ears to hear your voice and your silence, hands to hold your presence and your absence, and faith to trust your unchanging nature in all seasons." It's those times of change, especially the ones that you weren't expecting that we are going to talk about on Fridays for the next 8 or 9 weeks.  There is a group of about a dozen women meeting on Wednesday nights in West Des Moines, Iowa to learn whatever truths we can glean together.  If you live in the area and would like to join us you are more than welcome. Leave me a comment and I'll get you the details. However there were a few women who couldn't come at that time so we are going to "blog study" together and we are inviting you to join us.

Carol Kent wrote a book called "When I Lay my Isaac Down" (our discussion book) in which she uses the term "unthinkable circumstances - circumstances that derail our carefully thought-out plans for our future." Wednesday night our group of 12 divided into 2 groups to share what our personal unthinkable circumstances were. In my group I was amazed at the diversity of situations. We had home foreclosure with loss of many of their personal possessions in the house, inability to bear a child, death of a husband and soon after a 19 year old son, divorce, job loss, moving across the country to a strange place and one quiet woman who said, "I'm not comfortable sharing my situation yet. It's not quite over..."  I just wanted to hug her with all my might. If that's you - something is happening but you'd rather not talk about it yet. That's okay. Walk along with us and if you are ever ready, speak up but don't feel obligated to share your personal story. Be strengthened by understanding that there are people all around you with questions about what is going on in their life.

Every woman there had tried to figure out "why" there situation was happening. They told of their "wild youth" or not taking their child to church while he was growing up or that they were always trying to "fix" things - everything, long before the "unthinkable" happened. I think it's important that we recognize these thoughts. I would encourage you to write them down in your journal. If you are not journaling your way through this season I would encourage that you start. It helped me sort things out when I wrote it down, plus I've learned so much by being able to go back and see where we were and where we are now. After you have written down your thoughts about how you got where you are ask the Lord and a friend if you are willing to help you see what part of those thoughts are lies.  See Satan likes to make us believe everything is our fault. It's just not true. Believing lies makes everything worse.  Philippians 4:8 says, "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse." (The Message)  I can just hear some of you right now, "yeah right. That's a "PollyAnna" type mentality. I'm really hurting and confused here."  If you are, that's ok. We are all at different places in our walk. At this point, I just am praying that you will take the time to recognize that you are being attacked and it STINKS! In amongst that attack are firey darts of lies from the devil. We need the truth to help us navigate through this tough season.

Will you join us on this journey? Leave a comment letting us know that you are in or have been through an "unthinkable circumstance."  Share as much or as little as you'd like. You do not even have to leave your name. If someone you know came to mind when you read this encourage them to join us on Fridays. Read Carol's book, "When I Lay My Isaac Down" and let us know what you hear when you listen for God's voice in your life.

September 2, I can hardly believe it. Where did summer go? But it is another change of season, a time of fresh starts.  Some of us are resistant to change.  I received our women's ministry newsletter yesterday and my friend, Emily summed it all up. She graciously said I could share it with you. I will say, Emily is the real deal. She is a woman after God's own heart but she is very honest about the ups, downs and arounds in the daily living it out. We've had the privilege of walking with them since the beginning of this new adventure in the their life. We've seen their hearts.

Change. Just the word alone makes me cringe. I often think of change as the opposite of security. Security is what is familiar to me. Security is 

predictability. It is routine. It is comfort. It is control. I guess when it comes down to it, security to me is the absence of change. The problem is, change is inevitable.

Change is always marked by the end of one thing and the beginning of something new. This time of year generates a lot of change for most people. It's the end of vacation time and the beginning of schedules, school, and new projects. It's the end of swimming suits and tank tops, and the beginning of jackets and jeans. It's the end of iced tea and lemonade and the beginning of cappuccinos and hot chocolates. The end of flip-flops and the beginning of Uggs. The end of sprinklers and lawn mowers, and the beginning of rakes and shovels. The end of the air conditioning, and the beginning of warm fireplaces and space-heaters. Some changes we dread and some we look forward to.

Throughout the past year, my mind has been consumed with a very big change that will be happening to my family just a few short weeks from now. One chapter is ending, and a new one is beginning. We are pulling up the roots that have grown deep into the soil of familiarity here in Des Moines, Iowa and replanting them in the soil of unfamiliarity, unpredictability, and discomfort in Nairobi, Kenya. When the Lord first started nudging our hearts to be missionaries in Africa, the fear of change overwhelmed me. Even now, so close to our departure date, I still have plenty of days when fear threatens to overpower me.

As we are preparing for Africa, I've been thinking a lot about my personal attitude towards change and how the LORD might be challenging me to see it from His eternal perspective. Watching beloved pieces of furniture and other meaningful objects be hauled out of our home, sent off to Goodwill or sold on the driveway, I've had to make a decision every day...sometimes every minute: What am I going to put my hope and trust in? Familiarity? Comfort? Routine? Predictability? Or will my hope be in the Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Loving, All-powerful, Sovereign God?

I've found that my fear of change is most overwhelming when I start thinking too much about me. If I base my attitude solely on my own abilities or inabilities to cope with change, I should be afraid! I know I can't do it. If I spend too much time thinking about how unqualified I am and how hard this change is going to be, my fears would paralyze me. And if I forget about the power that is in me through Christ and His limitless abilities to help me, protect me and guide me though all the unknowns, I would not cooperate with this change at all. I'd fight it, and desperately try to cling to my "content", routine, predictable life and miss a whole lot of great things that God could teach me when I am outside of my comfort zone.

But God says, "Forget the former things! Do not dwell on the past! See, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18-19) The question for all of us is this: Will we embrace His new beginning for our lives, or will we run from it?

It's when we're outside our comfort zones, living beyond ourselves, and trusting Him with each new step of the way that we can quit focusing on our own weaknesses and begin living in His strength and power. To know Him like that.....now that's my kind of new beginning!

Emily and PJ Holmertz along with their two children begin the adventure of a lifetime as they head to Africa at the end of this month.  You can follow them on their blog.http://holmertzadventures.aimsites.org/

Waving My Banner

Jehovah-Nissi

I love studying the names of God.  Why? Who knows except that the first time a wonderful friend led a group of women through a study of some names of God my life was changed.  I mean really changed. It definitely took my relationship with God to a new level. Now it's very common for me to think about what "name" or "part" of God I just read about or experienced.  I'm telling you that because this morning I was thinking about Jehovah-Nissi. (pronounced juh-HO-vah NEE-see) 

Ancient armies carried standard or banners that were their identification and symboled their ideals.  It was like a flag, something that could be seen from far away, serving as a rallying point for the troops before a battle.

This weekend I began waving my banner of God around some friends.  My friends baby had some tests done that require them to have further tests done.  She may have a life-altering/threatening illness. The blood test they did on her did not come back 100% ok. There is a 10% chance she may have this illness.  Now as if that is not enough to scare parents, this family already has a wonderful special needs child so they are very aware of all that special needs children bring to life.  ENTER MY BANNER - JEHOVAH-NISSI   See I can wave my banner.  My banner reminds me and all who see it that God wins.  He loves us and takes care of us through the battles of life. I know because I've lived through a few.  I called my friend and verbally waved my banner where she could see it.  I reminded her of some of my family's story and how God has protected, prepared, supplied and cared for us through our battles. She was a part of our protection and care so she is knows our story to be true.  We prayed to ask God to continue to care for her family, for His will to be done in His way.  That's what waving our banner of Jehovah-Nissi is all about, a rallying point. A declaration of who we are, what we believe and a reminder of what God has already done in our lives. 

You know the story where this was first exhibited in the Bible. It comes from Exodus 17 (read it!)

The Lord told Moses that they needed to fight the Amalakites (the bad guys).  Moses tells Joshua who gathered some men to fight. Moses, Arron and Hur went to the mountain top and Moses raised his arms - his banner.  As long as his arms were up, his team was winning. When he got tired and his arms started to come down they began losing.  HOWEVER, HIS FRIENDS helped him by getting him a rock to lean on and physically helping him to hold his arms up until the battle was won.  Then they built an altar there, a reminder of what God did, and named it, Jehovah-Nissi.

This is a great story reminding us that is it necessary for us to remember what God has done and declare it to encourage others. Who do you need to remind of what the Lord has done in your life? Yourself? A friend or family member?  Wave your banner high!

Praying for God's Will

It sounds so right to pray for the Lord to reveal His will for our lives.  Just saying that you are praying for God's will to be done and therefore are "waiting" until you "know" sounds very spiritual.  I believe that God has a plan for our lives and I do believe we are to look for it. However, I don't think it is God's plan that we spend all of our time "looking/waiting" and therefore "doing" nothing!  Sometimes I think we just keep praying because it's safe.  As long as we "don't know" no one will expect anything from us, right? Wrong. We have a God-given life to live. (John 10:10) God wants us to live our life with all of it's ups and downs, having peace that He is with us in all of life's circumstances.

Could it be that we are using our quest for God's will in our lives as a diversion from actually doing what we know we should or because we are just plain scared of what it might be?

Check out Galatians 5:16-26.  For now think on this:
"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:25 NIV
"Let us keep in step..."  that implies walking, moving, following.

Accountability and Fear

I didn't post yesterday but spent the evening with nearly a dozen women discussing "accountability". It was a diverse group. We didn't really know each other, some had accountability partners, others did not. We agreed on the meaning as we've talked about in earlier posts and moved on to why we should have accountability in our lives.

The number one reason is because it is a Godly principal set up by our Savior.  Adam and Eve were accountable to God,(as we all are) David to Nathan, and the disciples went out in pairs or groups. The list could go on and include the over 50 passages where it talks about "one another".  We were created to live life in relationship. When you have relationships your decisions or lack thereof effect others. We've discussed the "ripple effect" before.

It was interesting when I asked what came to mind when they heard the word accountable or accountability. The responses were the expected defining type words, reporting in, explaining etc.  But one woman was brave enough to say what others were thinking, fear. (or lets say at least, anxiety) It's so sad but true that we are afraid of each other.  We are afraid of what they will think of us, afraid they won't be our friend anymore, afraid they will betray our trust and tell someone else our "secrets".  It is truly sad to me that we give someone else that much power over ourselves. That said, I know it's true. I feel it myself and have witnessed it in others countless times.

My own story testifies to the fact that if we give in to fear and don't become honest and open with someone we can really hurt ourselves.  More than 7 years ago my husband and I were in full time ministry and LOVED it. However our two part-time ministries had grown. (Praise God) However they now added up to at least 1 1/2 jobs. Add to that our mistakenly placed since of being responsible for everything around us and it was a one-way course to disaster.  It's always easier to see it in someone else and I could see problems coming in my husbands physical life. So I did my best to "help out".  There were people in authority above my husband that could have helped with the work load had we said anything. I hinted at it a couple of times but no one caught my hints. Why didn't he or I flat out say something and ask for help? Fear. Fear that they would think we couldn't do the job, weren't strong enough, spiritual enough...whatever enough.  My fear contributed to his complete crash August 2004. When I say complete, I mean complete. Our lives changed on a dime.  He is healed now. Life goes on and lessons learned. But I know now, in hind sight that if I had been honest and transparent with others or if we had regular accountability friends that we allowed into every area of our lives our crash wouldn't have been as all-encompassing. God is full of grace and mercy and we are able to minister again but in a much different setting and way.

James 5:16 from the Amplified Bible says this, "Confess to one another therefore you faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray (also) for one another, that you may be healed and restored (to a spiritual tone of mind and heart). The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available (dynamic in its working)."   When we open up to one another, including our weaknesses, asking for help/accountability we open ourselves up to support and healing and power.  It's very freeing.  Can you think of time when you've opened up to someone and felt freer after you did - no matter how trivial the topic might have been?

Relationship Anxiety

Okay, I'm going to say what I think many of us are thinking but don't want to admit. I've thought about posting this for a few days and chickened out for awhile. I think it's a fact that we struggle the most with those we love the most. Dumb, right? I think it's true.   To me it's pretty obvious, especially right now at Christmas time.

We get together with both sides of our family in a 36 hour period. We have fun eating, talking and playing games. Our families are pretty different and yet the same. We want to be together. We eat. We talk.  One side has alot more people, activity and noise. The other is quiet and can be almost dull. Both are full of love but their is always some tension too. Why?  After thinking and praying about this for a few days I believe it's because we want everyone to be happy and because we just keep thinking about ourselves.  In my case, it's both! (smile) I want everyone to be happy so I can be happy. See it's about me. I'm afraid of offending somebody and "losing" them.  Guess what? Even I know when I read that, that it will never work. Why? Well, #1 I'm not in charge. I can't control anyone except myself.  This year my son and daughter-in-law will join our family craziness for the first time. This year both Grandma's have health issues that change their normal position of being "in charge".  So then who takes that place and how will they do it? My mind has been going in circles for days regarding food, who likes what and who can eat what. Then there is what to do at the quieter house to engage everyone. As opposed to how to keep everyone happy at the busy-er house where we are crowded and there are lots of "bosses" in the mix.

I admit it this is NOT what relationships and holidays are supposed to be about. It's about love. Being loved so much that God sent His son to earth to live with us in this world. This crazy, try to keep everybody happy world.  The amazing thing is God knows everything. So He knows that we won't all accept His son and He did it anyway. He gave us His all and we choose whether to accept it or reject it.
Hmm, I think I get it. I love my family, all of them.  I'll give them my best because I love them. They then choose whether or not to accept it. It's their choice. I can't make it happen but I can choose to trust my God with them. I can trust that He will protect our relationships. Will you join me?

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27