Okay, I'm going to say what I think many of us are thinking but don't want to admit. I've thought about posting this for a few days and chickened out for awhile. I think it's a fact that we struggle the most with those we love the most. Dumb, right? I think it's true. To me it's pretty obvious, especially right now at Christmas time.
We get together with both sides of our family in a 36 hour period. We have fun eating, talking and playing games. Our families are pretty different and yet the same. We want to be together. We eat. We talk. One side has alot more people, activity and noise. The other is quiet and can be almost dull. Both are full of love but their is always some tension too. Why? After thinking and praying about this for a few days I believe it's because we want everyone to be happy and because we just keep thinking about ourselves. In my case, it's both! (smile) I want everyone to be happy so I can be happy. See it's about me. I'm afraid of offending somebody and "losing" them. Guess what? Even I know when I read that, that it will never work. Why? Well, #1 I'm not in charge. I can't control anyone except myself. This year my son and daughter-in-law will join our family craziness for the first time. This year both Grandma's have health issues that change their normal position of being "in charge". So then who takes that place and how will they do it? My mind has been going in circles for days regarding food, who likes what and who can eat what. Then there is what to do at the quieter house to engage everyone. As opposed to how to keep everyone happy at the busy-er house where we are crowded and there are lots of "bosses" in the mix.
I admit it this is NOT what relationships and holidays are supposed to be about. It's about love. Being loved so much that God sent His son to earth to live with us in this world. This crazy, try to keep everybody happy world. The amazing thing is God knows everything. So He knows that we won't all accept His son and He did it anyway. He gave us His all and we choose whether to accept it or reject it.
Hmm, I think I get it. I love my family, all of them. I'll give them my best because I love them. They then choose whether or not to accept it. It's their choice. I can't make it happen but I can choose to trust my God with them. I can trust that He will protect our relationships. Will you join me?
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
Thanks for writing this, Jody. I admit that I've been dealing with this issue, but in a different way. Living overseas has dealt us with friendship anxieties. We don't 'seem' to have many friends here. Or at least that's the lie we tell ourselves. And I'm constantly worried that I'm on my best behavior when hanging out with a friend because in military life your friends become your family. I too worry that I'm going to "lose" a friend over something petty… You're so right--we must entrust our relationships to God and I definitely needed to hear that message today:)
ReplyDeleteMuah mama, I just want to see you and the family that is all, the food and the presents are fun but they are not what I'm excited for. Remember that and read this again when your stressing out. Muah!
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