"My story is important not because it is mine, God knows, but because if I tell it right, the chances are you will recognize that in many ways it is also yours. Maybe nothing is more important than that we keep track, you and I,of these stories of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the way because it is precisely through these stories, in all their particularity,as I have long believed and often said, that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally." -Frederick Buechner



Monday, February 7, 2011

Are You Talking Their Language?

So let's just say I decide to write this blog post about peripheral neuropathy and if there is any merit to using Schedule II drugs in it's treatment.  I'm a nurse and since I'm a nurse I know the medical terminology.  Since I know the terminology I can use it so anyone listening to me should understand it, right? WRONG.  Just because I talk doesn't mean the listener "gets it."  That's why it's important you learn what your loved one's "language" is.  Author Gary Chapman says there are 5 basic "love languages".  The premise is we all have a dominant one. We use them all to some extent but one of them rises to the top for each of us. Let's do a quick overview.
1.  Word of Affirmation - this one is pretty self explanatory.  Some of us just need to hear you say we're doing a good job. You appreciate us and most of all you love us!
2. Physical Touch - again, pretty simple.  This is not all sexual, though it can be sexual touching. On a day to day basis this person wants hugs, your arm around them, to hold hands and a pat on the back.
3.Quality Time - this one gets harder.  This person wants some undivided attention. It doesn't count that you are  sitting beside them while watching your favorite TV show.
4. Acts of Service - This means actually doing something for them. For example, doing the dishes after supper or fixing their broken bike.
5. Gifts - This is giving the other person actual gifts. They don't have to be big, often a favorite candy treat or a new magazine. Anything you thought of for them, acquired and gave to them unsolicited will work.

Here's the deal, you can give me gifts all you want and while I like them if you never tell me you like me, I'm probably not going to believe you really like me. It's like me talking to you in medical terminology. Unless you know the language you don't get the whole meaning of it.

So now think about what makes you smile and feel loved. Whatever it is, is probably related to your love language.  What about your loved one? Do you know what their love language is?  Do you talk their language?  If so, keep it up! If not, you really ought to try it. Valentines Day is a great day to start. Think about it. If you can't figure out their love language show them the brief descriptions above and see what they think is their love language!  I don't know about you but I want to be talked to in a language I understand and I want the same for my husband.

If you'd like to learn more check out this website http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

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